auntie

I'm an auntie. I'm the proud auntie of a perfect little baby boy. The little bundle arrived last Sunday, and tonight I got to hold him for the first time.

I reckon we'll become good friends, me and this little chap. I like him already.

my mother

Today my mum would've turned 65 years old. But she never even got the chance to turn 50.
It is 16 years since my mother passed away and in some ways it feels like a lifetime ago. 

Don't get me wrong - she's with me in my thoughts almost every day. I strive to be more like her. I wish I'd gotten her wonderful ginger hair instead of my blonde. I wonder what advice whe'd give me when in doubt. I wish she'd had the chance to meet her first grandchild and it's most marvellous mother/wife of my brother's.

But there are so many things I don't remember about her. And things I want to forget too. I don't remember what she used to smell like. Or what her teeth looked like. Or what it felt like hugging her. I remember a scar on her pinkie but can't for the world  remember the story behind it - even though I know she once told me.

I would like to forget all the horrible things I called her as a teenager. I would like to forget how she worked herself half to death with a full time job, kids, a farm and voloneer work all at once. Or the look on her face when I caught her crying once when she thought she was alone.

Everytime someone tells me I remind them of my mum I take it as a compliment. Everytime I throw her old, 70's bag over my shoulder as I'm on my way to work (just as she used to do) I send her a thought. And best of all is when I sometimes look at my brother and see her smile in his. She lives through us all I'm sure.

weekend activities

We've been pretty good at doing fun stuff over the weekends lately.

The other weekend the Mr. and I headed into the city to go ice skating in the park. At first it sounded like a great idea - after all I used to be good at ice skating as a kid. But when counting I realized it was approx. 25 years since skating around the ice...

... I was useless at it. And terrified. But it was hilarious! The Mr. succeeded better than myself getting around the ice I have to admit.

I, on the other hand, managed to fall over whilst standing still, which surely is an achivement not everybody manages! :-)

 After skating, laughing and falling over (me at least) we went to "Sky Bar" and had a chili coctail before heading home. Perfect ending to a perfect day.

We also went to see the Modern Dance Theatre "XPSD" over a weekend. Quite frankly I thought it was bad, but still it was fun to see. To compensate for all the fine art that evening we had a stroll through town afterwards, and stopped off at McDonalds to have a big Mac...

... One needs balance in life!

This weekend we visited the Museum of Technology. Their exhibition about NASA and spaceships newly opened, and it was really interesting. After the exhibition we went to a little wok place and had lovely supper before heading home.

It's nice to pretend to be a tourist in your home city!

The awards – 2010

1) Best day of the year: Midsummers day was a lovely day in every sense. Wonderful company, wonderful weather, great food, great views… Yes, perfect in every sense of the word.

2) Best holiday: There was no special holiday for me this year. Travelled nowhere exciting. However, without doubt Lizzie and Macy’s holiday visiting me was the best! It was truly lovely to have my best friend visiting for over a week.

3) High Point of the year: Meeting the mr.


4) Low point of the year: it’s a close call between work and health.


5) Best read: “Brick Lane” by Monica Ali.


6) Anthem for 2010: “how far you go” by Tim Christensen


7) Regrets: I don’t regret things. Just remember bad moves so that I won’t do them again.


8) Best Night out: a drunken night in the beginning of the summer. It was in a scruffy pub in Stockholm and the company was fantastic. The outcome even better.


9) Worst Night out: all those nights that I had to cancel due to working overtime at work.


10) Best purchase: the kitchen wall paper. The antique living room furniture. And I’ll be so vain I’ll mention those high heel calf high boots with wooden sole too. It was love at first sight.

11) Best relationship: The one that began.


12) Worst relationship: The ones that got infected partly due to the one that began.


13) First show of the year: I went to see the premiere of “den banala kärleken” in Uppsala in January. My sister-in-law invited us as she worked on the production.


14) Last show of the year: was “The Real Groups” Christmas concert in Stockholm in December.

15) Best decision made all year: to study those uni courses besides working. I think I’d gone mad otherwise. And to take that pottery course. It was great fun!


16) Plans for next year: enroll more courses. In pottery. Photography. God knows what. And getting something more challenging to do for a living. And get healthy, of course.

holiday so far

I so miss these two whilst away!

Luckily, I have this one instead - constantly purring in my lap!
(and yes, I know, hideous outfit, but I've been clearing the attic out today)

Not to mention this crazy, adorable puppy!

BC Magazine Philippines

1. Bianca Valerio 2. Vina Morales 3. Tessa Prieto-Valdes with daughter with mua Claire Diokno and BC's Ms. Lyndee Favis 4. Mikaela Lagdameo-Martinez 5. Bianca Araneta 6. Tweetie De Leon-Gonzales 7. Georgia Schulze 8. Daphne Oseña-Paez [with me] 9. Amanda Griffin-Jacob 10, Sheryl Reyes-Tan

The number one fashion and lifestyle magazine for the family in the U.S. has finally arrived here! BC Magazine Philippines just launched its first issue last month (Oct.- Nov. issue). And I am very proud to say that I'm a part of its editorial team. :] You guys know how fascinated I am with magazines and yes, it is a dream come true for me to be actually working [not just contributing] in a magazine - the thrill of every photoshoot, pulling out clothes, shoes, accessories [for adults and kids], styling, some writing, conceptualizing, layouting, coordinating with celebs/handlers/muas/ hairstylists, meeting a lot of people, etc. :] 

For BC's premiere issue, we have two covers - Ms. Dawn Zulueta-Lagdameo with kids and a collage of our Most Beautiful Moms(bts photos above). :] Next week will be our official launch party/ photo exhibit [Most Beautiful Moms and some Hollywood celebs BC has done], I'll tell you more about it soon! :] Meanwhile, please like our FB page. Thanks! :]

P.S. There's a new addition to the BC family, which I am very excited about - SPARK Magazine, details soon! :]

loveliness

The other day I had some very good news. You see, I have been ill for some time, but after the last trip to the doctor's I got the all clear. Good news indeed.

I celebrated by treating myself to sushi after the dr's apt. And whilst eating my sushi I sent a text message home to share my good news. I recieved a message saying "Damn good news. we should celebrate tonight!". I thought nothing more of it, finished off my sushi and did some errands around town before heading home.

But as soon as I came home I found the mr. by the cooker - making the most amazing dinner. There were beers in the fridge. A bunch of flowers on the dinner table. Chocolates for afters... So thoughtful! Such a wonderful treat!



We had a lovely evening. Like most evenings really, but in a different kinda way. And posh dinner and beer on a worknight doesn't happen every day for sure. I'm not used to being pampered like that. I think it almost topped our roadtrip last weekend, where we went to see the eminent Ed Harcourt. That says alot.

Good news, yummy food and lovely, wonderful thoughtfulness all in the same day. Who could ask for anything more?

silence

My great uncle once did research on "silence". I remember sitting next to him at church at a relative's wedding, when he asked me to observe if there was ever any silence during our church visit. I never heard any silence... Not that you can hear silence as it is, well, silent...

I don't know whatever happened to my uncles research, and quite frankly I'm not that interested either. However, I sometimes remember his question and listen. Is there ever a time when I hear nothing?

Tonight as I was walking home from work I was amazed on how quiet it was. No busses or cars on the roads (probably due to the horrible snow chaos we've had the last few days). I met noone on my walk and the silence was wonderful. The only thing I heard was the sound from my boots crunching the snow from the weight of my body. So there was no silence after all, but it sure was a beautiful sound.

weekend away

I spent the weekend up north, visiting my dad. As always the place is next to magical in winter time.

The dogs enjoyed long walks. I enjoyed the fresh, crisp air and the silence. 

Aaron the cat enjoyed being indoors under my duvet.

The second Crimbo

Last night I visited Po and Janna (i.e. my brother and his girlfriend) to celebrate Christmas and swop pressies with them. Instead of a star in their Christmas tree sat an alien. A Christmasy alien, of course!

It was a great, chilled out evening. First a huge, fantastic dinner followed by beer drinking in their livingroom. And as per usual my brother and I posed in front of the camera:

up north

I am back home after a couple of relaxing days at my dad's.

In Östersund (which really, geographically is situated in the middle of Sweden, but looked upon as the north due to it's climate) the snow was thick and beautiful. The temperature just right and no wind what so ever. Perfect for walking in other words.

On Christmas eve my dad and I took the dogs for a long walk and visited a few of his neighbours to drop of Christmas gifts. The dogs were happy and lead the way.

The rest of the evening was spent in the settee in front of an open fire, with Mimmi (the black dog) lying in my lap. The cat Aaron was lying in my dad's lap and the ginger dog Tussen was on the floor playing with a toy. It was lovely.

But as nice as it was Im glad to be back with my boys again. Kif inside my fleece jumper and Tylor under the blanket on my legs. Home sweet home.

a simple party invite

The phone just rang. My father, giggling and sounding very excited with a quick hello followed by a "guess what I recieved in the post on Friday?!" was on the other end.

I didn't attempt guessing as I knew he would tell me sooner than I'd have time to say anything.

"Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! The Andersson family would like to invite you to a pre-Christmas get together on the 7th of December. RSVP" he read out loud, giggling aloud.

"Sounds lovely" I said. "What a nice idea!"

"Nice?!" he hissed. "Sounds like they think they are the bloody Royal family! If they want me to come around for a cup of coffee they could quite easily have phoned me!"

I said I thought it was nice of the family to send out an combined invite/christmas card and make it a little extra special. It's the kind of thing I like to do too!

"Yeah, I bet you'd like to go to see if there was any gossip there, wouldn't you? Nose around a bit, eh?!" He continued - being his usual charming and loving self.

I told him it must be horrible being so suspicious, cynical and negative of everything, then explained I had lots to do and finished the phonecall.

Yep, good people, yet another anti-energy-kick from my father. Now I'm in a vile mood and hate myself for answering the phone.

a bit of bragging

As a Northerner I've been brought up with Jantelagen. For you who don't speak Swedish it's "the Northerner's law", which translates to something like this:

You’re a nobody.
You’re not as good as us.
You’re not as smart as us.
You’re not to believe that you are better than us.
You’re not to believe that you know more than us.
You’re not to believe that you are superiour to us..
You’re not to believe that you are worth anything.
You’re not to laugh at us.
You’re not cared for by anyone.
You’re not capable of teaching us anything.
(very quickly and freely translated from "En flykting korsar sitt spår")


To sum all of the above up - it is bad to brag. It is bad to tell people of your knowledge. This explains my father's reaction to my staff training days (see my previous blog). I bragged. And he just couldn't stand it so he was quick to tell me I had nothing to be proud of.


But you know - I'm sick of not being able to tell the world of good days! Days that turn out nice because of me and my actions. What's so wrong about feeling proud of somthing you feel you've achieved?

So here's my bragging of today:

I facilitated a staff conference from hell today. There were arguments and accusations and petty bickering. But I stood my ground and sorted it all. And by cry am I proud of it! I rocked!

my brother and I

A little tribute!

We have fought like cat and dog, annoyed eachother like noone else...

...Still I have to say I have the best brother in the world (with a patience like an angel - don't know how he's coped with me all these years), and don't know what I'd done without him.

My brother and I in Stockholm on Midsummer's Eve in the early 80's.

Both of us slim and suntanned for a change! At our cousin's flat in 2000 - I was visiting Sweden after a long trip in South America and we decided to meet up in Stockholm.

Dinnerparty at my brother and his girlfriend's place 2006.

One of the rare pics of us where you can see the resemblence.

Stunning photo 2007. Long live Mac's Photobooth!

PS2 battle at mine 2008 (and yes. I'd eaten so much I had to undo my trousers!)

My mother

mum 1976



A week before Christmas 1995 my mother passed away. It is 13 years ago but in many ways it feels a lifetime away. Of course I miss her - I miss her alot - but the thing I miss is what I could've had with her, if you know what I mean?

If she was still alive I dare say my life would've looked a lot different to what it does. My mother was such an encouraging person: she pushed me to try all those things I dreamed of doing, and when I was on the verge of chicken out she always gave me the courage to take the last step out into the unknown. And for that I am forever grateful.

My father, on the other hand, is the complete opposite. He is scared of everything I do, wants to do or dream of doing. He is negative to change in general and has more than once made me hesitate doing things I known deep down would've been right for me.

Sometimes, when I'm having a hard time or feel a bit down I dream about my mother at night. Usually it's heartbreaking dreams of finding my mum by the kitchen table, me screaming out "but they told me you were dead!" and she saying "well I am but I thought I'd stop by and say hello..." and we hug and her smell is so vivid it's for real.

And in a weird way I'm grateful for those dreams - or shall I say grateful for her stopping by every now and again. I need to remind myself of her strengh and positive spirit, her way of living and all those inpiring sides to life I sometimes forget.

I wish I had asked her more things. I wish she'd gotten the chance to see me as an adult, meet the loves of my life (yes there have been a couple actually) and tell me about what her pregnancies were all about. I wish she'd pushed me to get a grip and go to Africa when I chickened out. I wish she'd been around so that I could've had a shoulder to cry on and a best friend to share secrets with.

But most of all I wish she keeps popping by. Because the only thing that scares me is that I'll forget what she was really like.

Any cat owners who recognizes this?