loveliness

The other day I had some very good news. You see, I have been ill for some time, but after the last trip to the doctor's I got the all clear. Good news indeed.

I celebrated by treating myself to sushi after the dr's apt. And whilst eating my sushi I sent a text message home to share my good news. I recieved a message saying "Damn good news. we should celebrate tonight!". I thought nothing more of it, finished off my sushi and did some errands around town before heading home.

But as soon as I came home I found the mr. by the cooker - making the most amazing dinner. There were beers in the fridge. A bunch of flowers on the dinner table. Chocolates for afters... So thoughtful! Such a wonderful treat!



We had a lovely evening. Like most evenings really, but in a different kinda way. And posh dinner and beer on a worknight doesn't happen every day for sure. I'm not used to being pampered like that. I think it almost topped our roadtrip last weekend, where we went to see the eminent Ed Harcourt. That says alot.

Good news, yummy food and lovely, wonderful thoughtfulness all in the same day. Who could ask for anything more?

oh, the irony of it all

I didn't have any lunch today. This resulted in being starving by the time I finished work today... And we all know what happens when you're starving and stop by the shop to pick up some groceries, don't we?

... Yes, I ended up buying a huge bag of crisps, a bar of chocolate and a bag of sweets on top of the milk and bread that I originally went in to buy.

On my way home I remembered I should really join that gym I've been thinking about for a couple of months now. I popped in and signed the form. My shopping bag full of sweets stood out like a sore thum, and I was quite embarrassed about it as the receptionist took a glance at it.

Then it came to paying the membership. I gave her my credit card. She apologized and said they didn't take cards, but that there was a hole-in-the-wall two blocks away. I sighed and said "oh, I can't be bothered to walk that far!" The receptionist gave me a little smile, looked at my grocery bag yet again and said "let's start the exercise regime with that little walk shall we?"

And I did. Embarressed and realizing it is time to start living a bit healthier for sure.

the cure for everything

When it's dark and cold outside...

... When you have a deadline you won't make...

... When life gives you lemons:

don't make lemonade - cuddle a cat instead!

advise

Here's my tip of the day:

DO NOT SCRATCH YOUR EYES WHILST EATING CHILI & GARLIC SALAMI.

It hurts. A lot.

confession

Oooouuuuch....

Despite the purring Kif inside my jumper and pain killers inside my intestines I feel a bit sick.

Why? Because I've just over-indulged!

For those of you who knows me well/seen my bathroom it won't come as a surprise that I am a toiletrieholic. I loooove toiletries!

Bathfoams. Deodorants. Showergels and face masks. Even pretty razors and tweezers gets my attention. I'm such a sucker for anything that smells nice or is wrapped up in pretty packaging.

I usually order my stuff from a British website named http://www.chemistdirect.co.uk since I don't think Swedish shops have much to offer. And after being sick, bored and stuck in bed for a few days I thought I deserved to pamper myself.

And so I put in an order just now. For more money than I dare to write down. Let's just say that it's more than my electricity bill, phone bills and internet bill put together on an average month.

update (and a cat story in disguise)

Still in bed. To cut a long story short I spent Wednesday in A&E where they did all possible tests and found out what's wrong with my stomach.

I was given a presciption on morphine tablets and the pain is now bearable. Also I've been given tablets to cure the thingiemagig in my belly. Yesterday and today were spent in bed as I still feel quite weak.

And the cats... Well, these cats:

Yesterday they were overwhelmed with the fact that I was in bed all day. They snuggled up to me and reeeeaaaaaally made the most of the opportunity of cuddling the whole day.

Today it's a different story:

Tylor is still being faithful, even though not as impressed as yesterday. But he is obedient and lies next to me purring soothingly. He's making very clear he does this for me and is not at all interested in a cuddle himself really. I mustn't stroke him or his tail starts whipping.

Kif is booooored. He jumps up and down on my stomach (because he's noticed he gets a very quick response by doing so!), screams as he runs up and down the bed in something I interpret as "well come on now you lazy bugger! Chase me!". He takes great joy in chasing my toes or fingers as soon as I move them. Licking my eyelids as soon as I close them is another safe bet of getting my attention, he's figured out.

Tylor is defending me and telling his brother to piss off. Kif is enjoying this tremendously.

Needless to say I have live entertainment in bed. They are wonderful, make me laugh and I love them dearly. I just wish I could be slightly more bright and alert to enjoy it all.

the manager meeting

Yesterday I had a friend around for a late lunch. When she left my stomach started to hurt more than usual. By 8 pm I was in agony.

This morning it was even worse. I couldn't stand up straight. I went to the doctor, and sent a text message to my colleagues saying I wouldn't make it to the manager meeting we had planned this morning.

When I left the doctor's (with pain killers and stomach pills of some sort) I checked my mobile phone. There was a reply from one of my colleagues saying another manager was on her way to pick me up.

And as I looked up, there she was. She gave me a big hug and said "right, we're taking you to the Emergency unit. This has been going on for too long and we're all worried about you."

I burst into tears. How wonderful they all are!!! I explained I'd been given medicine and that I would give it a try before rushing off to the A&E. My colleague said OK and drove us off to our conference room.

There they had made warm, lovely soup for me.

I am truely blessed with being surrounded by wonderful, caring people.

poo and pooped

Saturday I got back my dodgy tummy, which has been going on since before my trip to China. I will spare you the details, but the title says it all. And the colour of this text.

By yesterday it had gotten so severe, plus I was exhausted after not eating anything, I decided to visit the doctor.

.

the dr: have you been abroad?

me: yes, but my problems started before my trip!

the dr: but the symtoms got worse abroad, yes?

me: no, it got better in China and worse once back home.

I tried to explain my symtoms are exactly like they were the time I had salmonella in Bolivia.

.

the dr: have you been eating chicken?

me: well... Yes? I eat chicken about 3 times a week?

the dr: oh. Had you been eating chicken just before your symtoms started?

me: probably. I eat chicken 3 times a week and this was about 4 weeks ago...

Then she told me to wash my hands after going to the toilet ("oh really??"). To avoid milk products (I avoid all foods at the moment).

She asked me to lie down so she could feel my stomach. The pain was unbelievable.

the dr: Oh is that sore? That's your large intestine. If it's that sore it's inflamed.

Finally she took some blood samples and checked my fluid levels, established the fact that I indeed was quite poorly and sent me on for further tests. "To check what I'd picked up in China".

Jeez.

the fear is near

Yesterday I went into work at noon. One member of staff had gone home during her shift as she felt sick, I was told. Another member of staff had done the same the previous day.

I went through mail and paperwork that had gathered on my desk (as it does after a couple of days off), when yet another member of staff turned up in the doorway to my office:

I feel a little strange, she said and looked... Well, she looked a little strange. I don't know if it's because one of our patients threw up right in front of me just now, but I feel like I'm going to be sick, she continued.

Go home, I told her, and as I did so she puked.

I can not explain the fear. I sent her home, cleaned up and used disinfectant everywhere. And as there were no staff left for the patients I had to work in the facility. With patients who also had the stomach bug that seemed to take over completely.

I was nearly in tears. I'm off to China on Friday morning. I cannot afford to get sick in a vomit frenzy! I refuse to get ill!!!

Today I have also worked all day and I have to say I feel queezy, but I keep telling myself it's all in my head due to paranoia.

I guess time will tell. Fingers crossed that I won't be spending the entire flight with my head down that paper bag!

tossers at the doctors!

I went to have some blood tests done today. Sat in the waiting area for over an hour whilst one poor nurse was running back and forwards with tests, paper work and god knows.

When it was finally my turn to meet the stressed out nurse it turned out my doctor hadn't emailed her the details she needed. She was searching the files on her computer frantically when I offered to go and find my doctor and get him to sort it out. Meanwhile, I suggested to the poor woman, she could take the next patient waiting. She said thank you and off I went.

After finding my doctor I returned and knocked on the nurse's room. Asked if she had time to see me straight away as I was running really really late for work. She said yes and soon thereafter I had a needle in my arm.

She put the needle in perfectly. Never seen anyone do it so good before, and therefor told her so.

Her eyes filled up. Said she'd never met anyone so kind and positive like me. She said most people had been coming in shouting at her for having to wait so long in the waiting area. It turned out her colleague was off sick and she was working for two. She hadn't had time for a toilet break let alone grabbing something to eat. She told me about how she wanted to the day to finish and go home and have a cry of exhaustion cuddled up next to her dog.

And then she thanked me again, all sincere and weepy eyed. I was horrified. Poor poor woman! I said I was really late for work, but could come back in an hour or two with a sandwich for her if she wanted. Then she gave me a hug and said her friend was on her way already.

But surely to god everyone in that waiting area could see how stressed out she was, running back and forwards? Surely they could all figure out it wasn't HER fault they had to wait for their turn? How DARED they have a go at the one person who were helping us out and putting our needs before her own?

This place is full of wankers. And it makes me really really angry.

the heart attack

On the way to work today I noticed a shopping trolley on the pavement. Soon thereafter I noticed a pair of feet sticking out under the trolley!

Once up cloce I saw that it was a very pale looking man lying on the ground. For a split second I thought he was dead, but as I approached him he moved ever so slightly.

"Hello, are you awake? Can you hear me?" I leaned over and asked the man.

He stirred and looked at me, and told me he had a pain in his heart.

" I will get you an ambulance" I said, and as I got my phone out the nurse in me took over: "Is it a sharp, stabbing pain in your chest or is it more of a dull kind of pain?" I asked to see what sort of heart/chest problems we might be dealing with here.

"No ambulance" he said, sounding a lot better all of a sudden. "Don't worry, I will go home".

"So where do you live?" I continued, thinking I couldn't just leave the poor man there but walk him home.

He stood up. Looking pale as before but apart from that perfectly fine. I was confused. He put his arm around me and said " we're from channel 3, doing a documentary. I've been lying here for over an hour. Lots of people have passed me here, but you are the first person to stop and ask me how I'm doing. Thank you."

I couldn't really take it in. Felt a bit foolish to be honest. "Are you SURE you're OK?" I asked. He said he was and so I walked off. Never asked what documentary they were doing. Never asked where the cameras were. Just walked off.

Now, when I've digested the episode, I'm a bit surprised over what he told me. What kind of society do I live in where people don't stop to help someone in need? Scary. It could've been my father lying there. Or yours.

cross eyed? Me?

A couple of weeks back my glasses broke, and during a visit to the optician they noticed a "hidden squint" in my left eye. So I got sent to an eye specialist.

The eye specialist did lots of strange tests on my eyes, told me off for not wearing glasses ("but they are broken!"), put some horrible eye drops in my eyes to make my muscles/pupils relax and then gave me his verdict:

I have no hidden squint. I suffer from a conditition quite common for women my age. He called it "working yourself to death". Ha ha, my eyes are simply strained.

I am so relieved. Now I've tried out some frames with the help of my brother (who has impeccable taste in matters like this) and will hopefully get my new glasses before Christmas. The frames are pretty funky and out there, so I expect some horrified comments from my Jersey friends just like the last time I bought new specs... :-)

Watch this space!

cold for sure

You know you have a cold when:

- you wake up at 7 am and decide to get up (to blow your nose and take aspirin) even though you could've had a lie in until 9 am

- you crave orange juice and bananas

-you don't fancy chocolate!

- you sleep for 3 hours after getting home from work and still go to bed and sleep a full night just 2 hours after waking up from that post work nap

tooth ache a bit too late!

When I was about 12 years old I got kicked in the head by a crazy horse. I was wearing a helmet at the time, so my head was OK, ,but I bit my tounge and damaged my bottom teeth pretty bad.

My bottom front teeth were damaged the worst, and the dentist tried his outmost quite a few times to fix them. But after years of the fillings falling out as soon as I ate a piece of crisp bread I just left them without fillings. They have never bothered me, and I have learnt to bite and chew without using those teeth.

But last night I woke up with a sharp pain in my tooth. That one bottom front tooth. And today it has been very sore and hot/cold drinks have been irritating.

I have an appointment at the dentist next month, but I can't for the life of me understand how it suddenly started to hurt - 21 years after the accident??

it hurts!

It's nearly 3 am. I have been awake for a couple of hours with a really bad hadache. I have to get up early tomorrow for a phone conference followed by a lunch meeting.

My head is killing me and the frustration about not being able to sleep is killing me too.

Kif is confused. He doesn't understand why I'm up in the middle of the night. He's lying on my chest, one paw on each side of my neck, licking my cheeks and seems to be saying "I can sense something's not right but I don't know how to help you."

I went for a massage today. It really hurt as she kneeded my neck muscles. I wonder if that has something to do with my pounding head or if it's simply stress? Whatever the cause it's bloody killing me.

pooped and poo

That's it. I'm pooped.

Last night, after a 14 hour shift at work, I tried to watch a bit of telly before hitting the sack. Didn't work. I fell asleep right away.

This morning Kif woke me up at 5 am telling me he'd done a poo-poo in the cat litter tray, so I got up, cleaned it out and went back to bed (with Kif on top of me, happy to have pooed and that I cleaned it away for him). No more than 5 minutes later Tylor did a poo and started making noises to get me to clear the cat litter tray out for him too.

I did (I have tried to leave it. It's no use. They don't give up but scratch and scream in the tray until I remove their smelly B.M.s).

Then, around 5.30 am I was back in my bed with Kif on my thigh and Tylor on my chest and face and we all fell asleep again.

I woke up at 12. The boys had moved from my bed into the windowsill where they were sunbathing. As I got up they came to greet me good morning - Kif talks alot around me whereas Tylor jumps up and sits on my shoulder whilst I make breakfast.

After breakfast it was time to head off into town for the hairdresser's. But I was just too tired! I cancelled my apointment and went back to bed. The boys seemed to think it being a wonderful idea, and so we slept for another couple of hours.

Now I been out for a BBQ, and back in bed again. The BBQ was lovely but I felt completely knackered. Tomorrow I plan to stay in bed all day no matter what the weather is doing. I'm too tired for anything. I am really exhausted and in need of a holiday...

...Only one week to go I guess... The countdown has begun!

insomnia

It's gone half past two. I'm wide awake. The cats are curled up and have been fast asleep for the last 4 hours.

I'm tired but can't go to sleep. My brain is working overtime I think.

Today a guy came to look at my flat. I checked his out last week and fell in love with it. He wants a smaller place and I want a larger place, hence a swop between us seemed ideal. He turned up at 4 pm. Looked around and said encouraging things like "this is a nice bathroom" and "perfect size for me", but my gut feeling told me he didn't like my place.

As he left he said he'd think about it and MAYBE call me next week. Hmmm... I guess he was just being polite - I reckon I'll never hear from him again.

I really, really, rally want to move... I want a big kitchen. A balcony. Not too much to ask, I think, at the age of 33?