Sunday, January 23, 2011

bollox

I couldn't find my log in-device for my bank the other week. I kept looking around the flat but it was nowhere to be found. In the end I gave up and phoned the bank to order a new one. They apologized and told me I had to visit a bank office to get a new device, as it was nothing they could send in the post. He asked me how long I'd had my current one, and ensured me there would be no cost in getting a new one at the office.

The following day I entered the bank office. Took a number for the queue and waited my turn. And waited... For a good 30 minutes I waited until it was finally my turn, only to be told I had been waiting in the wrong queue and had to start all over again in another bloody queue.

Needless to say I wasn't overjoyed.

When I finally reached the right desk and explained my problem with the lost log in-device, the clerk told me it was no problem, I could have a new one for 400.- (£40).  I explained I'd been told I could have a new one for free. I also explained I'd had my old one for over 15 years and surely it was time for me to have a new one anyway?

She looked at me, kind of winked and told me if I'd report it to the police as stolen I could have a new one for free. I said it wasn't stolen, and refused to do a fake police report for the sake of getting a free device - something I thought I should get anyway.

The clerk then continued to tell me I could have a second hand one for the price of 250.- (£25) as I was a long time, loyal customer.

The cheek. I was raging. Asked her if she really thought a second hand one for 250.- was a "reward" for being their loyal customer for over 20 years, and then explained that I'd take my services elsewhere, to another bank where I'd get the god damn device for free. (Authors note to you readers: this was not a threat. It was a fact!)

She said nothing for a while. Looked at her computer screen without doing nothing. Then, like a dr. Jekyll and mr. Hyde-switch, she turned to me with a big smile and said I could have a new device for free.

What a twat face! What a pile of bollocks! I took my new, free device and left the bank. Not very likely to recommend the bank's services to fellow human beings, am I...?