surrounded by nutters

My brother has for as long as I know called me a "weirdo magnet". What he - rightly - is suggesting is that I seem to have a strange way of attracting weirdos! Somehow they spot me a mile off and corner me for a chat, some advise or to shout obscenities.

As I work with people with various kinds of challenging behaviours and mental disabilities I get my daily dose of this even at work, which I do love truely and fully. I really do. But when I'm off work I like to be off work completely.

Today I left work and got on the train to meet my beloved friend Fatima for some food and a good old chin wag. On the train I was approached by a man who smelt like a brewery and asked me for some change. I ignored him.

As I got off the train a man came walking towards me screaming something.
"Nutter" I thought and walked on. He got right in my face and screamed "you look like a giant walking dildo!" at me, then started singing a Christmas carol. I was actually lost for words, giggled a little to myself and walked on.

On my way home (after a huuuuge and looovely meal) my phone rang. I walked and talked and as I did so I noticed a woman following me.
"I can hear you" se hissed. "Everything you and your friend says is being recorded into my head and I will pass on all the information to THEM!"

I turned around and said - without thinking " I'm off work. I don't care". Then I got on the train home.